C.H. Valentino

.... Back in Five Minutes.

 

So, I got an email a few days ago about style. Writing style. And in this email, this writer asked me a few questions on style, and where it comes from and how it developes... and more to the point.... HOW to develop it.

 

And I thought- 1. Go get On Writing and 2. OH!  A blog topic.

 

And then I thought, what the hell do I know about style?

 

Well, really.... I know a lot about style. Specifically, my style and the styles of other writers I read. For example, lay out Barker, Reede, and Ellis- and I give myself a pretty good chance to figure out who's who on the page.

 

I've noticed style is usually a make or break point for a lot of the other writers I talk to. Seems more often than not I come across people with really solid plots, the basics in structure and grammer to the first read is nearly flawless (I kind of hate those people), but no matter how good the story or the punctuation- I am fucking bored to tears. And that's because, ah-ha, no style.

 

It got me thinkin' about the styles in see inside my fellow writer friends... or lack thereof.

 

As I have preached to them time and time again- you NEED to find a style, and they just stared blankly at me... I realized, I have no way to really explain myself further.

 

(Right about now, six people sucked in a breath and said, oh god- she means me.)

 

More than a few times people have asked me, "Does this piece suck? Do you think I should quit writing?"

 

How anyone can ask me this, I don't know. But I get it atleast once a month, and it always makes me cringe. The sad thing is, my answer is almost ALWAYS- "No, it does not suck. It has no style. As to you, I think YOU need to decide how much work you want to put in."

 

But the truth is, if someone is asking me if they should quit- they've already given up on themselves in a lot of ways. I can't make the decision for someone- hell! I can't make that decision for myself most days. And I'm met hell-a more successful writers than I am and THEY even seem to have the same kind of ambivolence toward their work.  

 

Style is a totally personal thing- as a writer think of it as your morning routine. We all have a system we go through. Some are early risers and we take our time getting ready- others are up and out the door, and down the street before they really are awake (you people baffle and scare the shit out of me). But in the end, the goal is the same in each person. 1. Get out of bed. 2. Don't go to work smelling like cheese.

 

Writing style: same two-step goal. 1. Don't make the reader sleepy 2. Doesn't smell like cheese.

 

So, how to you avoid boring and stinky... well, that's another thing completely.    

 

You must KNOW that books can a. be published without style (Meyers) or b. can possess too much pseydo-style (Palahniuk- it's kitchy and glib) But in the long run, what makes the writer an interesting due or dudette is their voice. c. American Idol is the best example of this.

 

You know you watch it- even me, the woman who watches NO T.V- watches the early American Idol Auditions. And it's not because of Simon Cowells cut-downs. It's because you, like the rest of America, want to watch that select handful of deluded individuals croon their way to YouTube and eventually Tosh 2.0. 

 

And like clockwork, I turn to my mother in abject horror and say, "Do you think no one has told them they just cannot sing?" In a lot of cases, if you can stomach to watch, there are many many people that have the tone and the pitch and the rhythm of the song down- but they are mimicing Kelly Clarkson, or Tina Turner, or Tiny Tim (yeah, one guy did that). And they have no "heart", and no "soul" and they are turned away in waves.

 

Brothers and sisters, they ain't got no style!  

 

One.) I hate that this has to be my first point- but it SHOCKS me at how many writers don't read. Like.... at all. But it shocks me more that some read about a book every two weeks. What the fuck is that? I read, on average, four books a week. These range in topic and length- but I try to stay at this count weekly. And I am not saying that that is by any means normal- I am kind of the octomom of writing- I don't do anything small. But good god! Given that your choice is T.V or a book- take the book. No one ever mastered the character arc from watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs. 

 

While I am on this topic- (unless you are watching Discovery, History, or one of the high-IQ channels) if you are watching T.V and you say the words- "Wow. What a great idea for a story!"

 

(Specifically, while you are watching 1. Star Trek and/or Wars 2. Any of the Law and Orders 3. Anything on Lifetime 4. Anything by Josh Weadon 5. Anything staring Nathan Fillion 6. Dexter)

 

 If you feel those words forming at the time you are watching the aforementioned, punch yourself in the face nine times. Then go get an ice pack and a REAL book, and have a cup of tea. One more prime-time mini-series inspired piece called "My New WIP- What do you think?" in my inbox- and I am going to launch a hostile take over at CBS.

  

Some writers are mimics and they are good immitations. Some writers are mimics and they sucks to all hell. But anyone that mimics the idiot-box is striking out 100 out of a 100 times. 

 

If you are writing a T.V show, you are not writing a book? So, why study T.V shows to understand plot and the character arc? Get a book- get a couple. Go back to reading. Eventually, if you really can "write like Hemingway"- then you should have no problem writing like you.

 

Do you have a favorite writer? What is their style? Write 1500 in their style. What do you think?

 

Two.) I think it's really easy for me. No really. I'm a big chicken shit- I write first person present and I write character driven novels. All that means I don't have to really work at a fixed style. I let my characters do all the hard work. And each book stamps out a new style that is unique to that book. Samantha does not move like Lexi does, ect.

 

POV has an effect on the overall tone of the piece, and I don't even fuck with that. I just skip straight ahead to FPP and say all you people writtin' in the third are just beyond me.

 

But what I always find is a large group of people telling you why you shouldn't write in a certain tense. These people are fucking stupid. (See point number one) Write in whatever tense you feel comfortable in and you like. But above that, write in the tense that the book must be written in. You catch that piece of personification there? What the book wants- the book gets. Think of it as your spoiled rotten child from your first marriage. They little bastard gets whatever it wants- even if it wants a little omniscience now and again.

 

What POV do you favor? Why? What's the hardest POV to write in? Why? Okay- now write 500 words in the hardest POV for you. What do you think?   

 

Three.) Now, this where I get a little nutty. Nothing in my style is original, per say. I use sheet music to write my prose. But not, like, there in my hand- it's sheet music in my head.

 

Little known Coleen fact- I learned the violin when I was little. My parents forced me to stay with it all the way through high school. I was really cool to be a kid that played the violin- it's SUPER cool to be an adult that can say, "I'm a classically trained violinist." But I digress.

 

Music kind of found its way into my style after I realized there is a beat inside almost every idea- no two are alike- and those beats are just waiting to be strung together. So, Dear Reader, I am playin' with your ears as I am playin' with your mind as I am playin' with your heart.    

 

Look for other talents in your life. Shit you not only know- but you know well.

 

Is there an aspect or interest in your life seperate from writing? Your job? Your hobbies? Now take that and intrograte into your style. Write 500 more words. Well?

 

Four.) Does your world melt? Mine does. No, seriously. If I stop writing for a little while the waking world tunrs into the Matrix but instead of all those neat little green lines of code, my dining room table become a black-text-on-white moving thing. It's not as disturbing as it sounds until I'm, say, driving.

 

That level of insanity kind of bleeds over into my style. Especially with Samantha. No one ever accused her of being normal. Me neither. So, we commiserate together- lamenting the loss of sanity at the cost of brillance.

 

Is there a kickback into your psyce if you DON'T write? What is it? Why or why not? Okay- this is the hard assignment. Don't write and don't read for three days. Now, sit down- write. Well, what's that look like?

 

If any of these exercises helped or haunted you you might want to take a look at Donald Maass' book, Fire in Fiction. I've mentioned it before, but I'll mention it again. Taking the book seriously enough to really show yourself why you are gettting kicked off the lit version of American Idol is a large step in becoming a better writer.

 

The first step to admitting you smell like cheese is taking a big, unbiased wiff.  

 

CHV